Wednesday, July 28, 2010
god is in the details
His dimples.
My curly hair.
The railroad tracks across the street.
Movies based on literature.
Chain reactions.
Full moon nights.
Wind chimes.
Paying with exact change.
Pennies with your birth year.
Books. Old book smell.
Glittery sand on the beach.
Holding hands.
Being 'metal'.
Hard rocking to your favorite songs.
Making lists like these.
Sunrises.
Brushing your teeth.
Fruit.
Fruits asians.
Shiatsu massage.
The rose I found on the beach, all sandy and scented.
Tea.
Hot cocoa.
Art.
Laughter.
Smiling at strangers that smile back.
Hobos.
The word 'Betwixt'.
Karnivool.
Tool.
Hearing neighbors clomp up the stairs.
Big red couches.
Seashells.
Pebbles from foreign countries.
Coins from foreign countries.
Postcards.
Jewellery.
Trees.
Doodles.
Loving people like things.
Friends that kick ass.
My sisters.
My little brother.
My mom.
Mountains.
Rivers.
Oceans.
Flower petals that love you, love you not.
Singing bowls.
Altars and shrines.
Clocks with roman numerals.
Penguin books.
Tinier versions of small things.
Kitten sneezes.
Moorchildren.
Honey.
Blankets.
Crystals.
Smudgy, sexy eye make-up.
Feeling loved.
Being in love.
Dancing on rooftops.
Poetic song lyrics.
Inside jokes.
Continuously texting someone all day.
Anything hand made.
Steampunk.
The name 'Everest' for a baby.
Top Gun.
Singing.
Making things.
Cameras.
Polariod pictures.
Indie Rock.
Great food.
Concerts.
Running for no reason.
Feeling FREE.
Playing ‘Apples to Apples’ with friends who get your humor.
Returning home after vacation.
Road trips with friends.
Summertime feelings in other times of the year.
Passports.
Captain Jack Sparrow.
Making out with someone really attractive.
Discovering new things about yourself.
Dik-Diks.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
love and tea cups
I haven't written in a while, mostly because I have had nothing to say. All I seem to write or think about lately is how much I miss my love, and how afraid I am that things are going to be... wrong... whenever it is he gets home. It seems sily to people, and often I feel like I am just complaining to everyone, but it truly worries me. He is one of those people you don't lose if you can help it. So it gets under my skin, this fear.
But underneath the fear, there is something so much better. Under the fear, there is Love. Under the fear, there is the sense that it will all work out, no matter how it all happens. I know that if we are meant to be, then nothing will stop us from being together again. I know that worst-case scenario is a dear friendship that will last an eternity. And honestly, I don't think I have to worry about that. I think he is the love of my life, that no one and nothing will need to take his place in my heart. He is the light where I live, and when he comes home... it will be like the sun coming up again.
So, until then...
I feel myself changing. I feel myself coming out of the... shell i had put myself it. I am awakening to my true self. I clearly see my flaws, and vaguely see my strengths. It is true what they say, that you cannot fill a full cup. I am currently in the process of noticing that my cup is full of shit. Now for the washing of the cup...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
duuuuuude...
Monday, July 5, 2010
sweet obsessions and a lazy attitude
I am obsessed with Urban Outfitters... because of their groovy CAMERAS.
I can't take it anymore... I need one. Or many.
I have also been thinking lately that I want to be a real blogger. I don't know how to do that, considering I am currently the only one who reads this one. Also, what would I have to say?
My boyfriend's mom is amazing, has a real-life blog that people love her for. She's so creative and fun. And my auntie Deann has a beautiful blog as well, and many a church goer follows her...
I dunno. I guess I don't really have what it takes to be a legit blogger...
C'est la vie.
CAMERAS!!!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
fever dreams
i just woke up and had to get this down
i was trapped in a part of the wrold that the people were living off the land, no electricity, stone cottace houses... the future people were threatening to come and civilize them. then there was an attack of a great dog, we are talking huge, bigger than some of the houses... and i was the only one who knew when it was coming... id always see a tiny pug puppy and then a big black wolf dog, and then i knew i had to get out of wherever i was...
i tried to escape the village with kurtis, and it turns out everyone was living out by my dads place, and there were other scary animals in the woods out there... like tigers... but nothing as terrifying as the giant dog... i was driving my car to get out of there, and made a crazy turn, and got pulled over by a cop. who i fought, and slepped, and screamed at... then i was picked up by a friend who had heard i was in trouble (i dont think i know her in real life) and she only had a two seater, and i wasnt going to leave kurtis behind, so we got in my car but by then the crazy cop had reported it as stolen, so we couldnt use it. then this friend of mine had called a bunch of people to come help us, some friend that i never met in the dream, and only knew her name, but i cant remember it now (awake). so she had called some guy who drove up in a black escalade and asked us if we were who we were, and told us that so-and-so had called, so we all tried to get in his car, but i saw that the giant dog was about to show up (like magic it always just appears, like the other two dgs before it) and then i woke up sweating...
about a year ago, i had a dream that i was on a circus island, i guess like coney island (though i have never been there). i was walking along the boardwalk, looking in shops, when this crazy bearded lady sees me and tells me i better come with her, she's been waiting all week for me to show up. she had been leaning against a wall, literally waiting for me to pass by. so she takes me down these stairs, and around all these corners, and into hallways, where i see a door... theres a girl screaming and crying, so i look and see her shadow, and it looks like someone is stabbing her... so i rush into the room where she is naked, riding a stationary bicycle, and the bike is attatched to this thing that has a knife, and the knife is feeding her cake. -not stabbing her- and there is a video projected on the wall of my home movies... (idk.) so then i get pulled into some room by the bearded lady, and she tells me to drink this thing, quick, its the only way i'll live through it... and it tastes like unicorn piss... thats the only thing i could think of that it tasted like, becasue it was disgusting but really really pure. so then, suddenly, the strong man busts in, sees me, and laughes. he takes me hostage (he is the strong man, after all) and puts me in a birdcage. im there for weeks, and he gives me only moldy bread to eat, and its dry and cuts my mouth and im bleeding, and all this stuff... it turns out i somehow figure out that i have lightning powers now... the bearded lady gave me them in that drink, and i can send the lightning through puddle of water i see on the ground...
so the strong man comes and gets me, says hes gonna sell me as a sex slave to the ringmaster... dresses me up in some skanky circus outfit (that i totally wish i owned now, but then was really scary and demeaning...) and forces me to dance, chained, all the way to this bus thats waiting... the island complex is completely deserted now. everyone on the bus is in the circus... sad clowns, the bearded lady (who cries when she sees me, and shakes her head, and tries to tell me everything is going to be fine... and then he puts me back in a flat cage that goes under the bus... and then we start driving, and i can feel the road under me by milimeters, and all i see are the yellow lines and some weeds next to the road... we stop at a gas station, which is right next to a church... strong man takes me out of my cage and tells me i am going to sing for the church, which i forcefully decline, and i shove my hands on his bald head and use my crazy lightning powers to electrocute him... only he can take it as well as i can, so we are both siezuring and going unconcious, and i remember slipping into a coma or something in my dream and thinking 'if this is the only way i get to be free, so be it...' and make sure i keep my hands on him as we both go down. i woke up, thinking i was still in the dream waking up from my coma...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
laundry day
Do you know what happens when you get caught up in your own bullshit? You get sick...
So today is the day I take back my body, the day that I straighten up my life, starting first with my home. No more putting off 'til tomorrow what I can do today...
I love music. Music can either light a fire under your ass and get you moving, or it can calm you down and settle your heart. Or it can do both at the same time. It is an art, and I relate to music well. If only I could make some........
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