feeling nostalgic

I miss my friends. I miss being able to just go over to their house and hang out, do nothing. I miss giggling with them, and drinking with them, and dancing with them.
I miss my ex boyfriend. I miss how he used to play music for me. I miss when he'd make me feel loved.
But alas, I have lost them all.
Now I have to search for new friends, a new love. I have to put myself out there in the world, and see what happens to me. I could be crushed again. I could be dropped again. But unless I want to live a life of boring solitude, I will have to. I will just have to.

bathtub nonsense

Yesterday I did nothing but watch glee all day. It's true. I barely got out of bed. Until late at night when I was finished watching glee.
I got out of bed, lit some candles in the bathroom, and took a bath. I forget how good that is for my spirit. As I sat there in the tub, swishing water around in my hands and letting my toes get all pruney, I realized that my life was beautiful. It's not like I didn't already know that, but I believe there are moments in life when you are more awake, and more aware. "There is never nothing going on. There are no ordinary moments." That's why when I was washing my hair with organic shampoo and drinking cold water out of a mason jar, I was revelling in joy. I was like a pig in mud, smothinering myself with beauty.

the cool teacher at school

I have figured it out.
The next few years of my life are going to be full and rewarding, if I can pull it off.
I am going to be a teacher. An awesome, inspiring, understanding English teacher. I want to make a difference in the world, to really help someone. And if I can make any kind of difference in anyone's life, and student who is having a hard time, then my life will be full.
I am going to take my time with this though. I am going to travel abroad, to teach ESL to children in Equador for a Summer. I am going to join the Peace Corps after I graduate, giving myself more time abroad to really make a difference in the world. And then I am going to get my teaching credentials and help as many students as I can gain some understanding of their native language.
I have a plan.