I have been visiting my NorCal family and friends for a few days now, helping my cousin pick out wedding dresses and getting Megan's sister drunk for no reason... I have had a blast, and it only makes leaving harder. Alas, I love my school, and must return. Tonight. Thank God for Chad, my one and only true and dearest friend in the Diego of San.....
This trip has been good, refreshing. It has brought certain things into the air to flow freely, namely my own stuck energies.
Its funny that I am learning who I really am, and have no need to switch personalities from one group of friends to the other, like I used to. I remain mostly consistant. It's nice to realize that I am a pretty good person...
There are, however, new insights to current situations, new issues and perspectives that have thrown me a little. I feel a bit unsteady in convictions I recently held to be true. I may have picked up a virus, the thing so many people have, and no one has found a cure for.
Worrying.
I feel like I am slowly going psychotic, like I am losing my grip on reality because all I seem to do is drown in pessimistic thoughts, the 'what ifs' that can run people ragged. Gah. I'm trapped in a circle, an endless and dizzying circle of nonsense and distruction.
Watch me go, round and round and round and round......
I have really got to snap out of it.
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