I haven't written in a while, mostly because I have had nothing to say. All I seem to write or think about lately is how much I miss my love, and how afraid I am that things are going to be... wrong... whenever it is he gets home. It seems sily to people, and often I feel like I am just complaining to everyone, but it truly worries me. He is one of those people you don't lose if you can help it. So it gets under my skin, this fear.
But underneath the fear, there is something so much better. Under the fear, there is Love. Under the fear, there is the sense that it will all work out, no matter how it all happens. I know that if we are meant to be, then nothing will stop us from being together again. I know that worst-case scenario is a dear friendship that will last an eternity. And honestly, I don't think I have to worry about that. I think he is the love of my life, that no one and nothing will need to take his place in my heart. He is the light where I live, and when he comes home... it will be like the sun coming up again.
So, until then...
I feel myself changing. I feel myself coming out of the... shell i had put myself it. I am awakening to my true self. I clearly see my flaws, and vaguely see my strengths. It is true what they say, that you cannot fill a full cup. I am currently in the process of noticing that my cup is full of shit. Now for the washing of the cup...
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