I am going through a bit of an identity crisis.
What am I supposed to do? I ask the universe, over and over. Where am I supposed to go, who am I supposed to meet? What am I even doing here?
I am sitting on a couch that isn't mine, eating food that isn't mine from a bowl that isn't mine,wearing clothes that aren't mine... I look around and realize that most of my belongings are gifts, are bought with money that I haven't earned. And the worst thing is, I don't want them. I don't want this stupid couch or this stupid bowl or these stupid clothes. I don't want to walk from my bedroom to my bathroom, and into my kitchen to get to my living room, when all of it isn't mine. I want to pick up and leave, drop it all and just walk away.
But I can't. I am here for a rason, given these things for a reason. All signs point to 'learn to stay in one place' or 'learn to do what you need to do, rather than what you'd rather do'. I don't know if i can do it. What is it that I am supposed to be doing?
My spirit tells me to flee, to sell it all and find myself somewhere on some open road. To travel, and be free.
But my heart and head both agree that I am here for a purpose, that there is something much more important than the open road. I have to accoplish something, to be some kind of leader and teacher.
But NO! I scream. NO! I will not be tied down!
I have the spirit of a wanderer, and exploerer. A gypsy, if you will. But my heart and head fear it, give me other things to do, a task to perform for the greater good. WHAT DO I DO?
No comments:
Post a Comment